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Try finding you way around Lucca, a walled city east of Pisa.  Most of the streets are too small for cars and lack signage.  And getting from any point A to any point B in Venice is a puzzle solving exercise.

That is why I am NOT driving in ANY city. And the whole point of Venice is to get lost.

When I see those gorgeous balconies, all I can think about are how many spiders are in there waiting to murder me. 

In case it's relevant, among my favorite dining experiences is Bel Soggiorno in San Gimignano. If a meal there fits your schedule, make a reservation. FD:Won't be the least expensive meal of your trip.

Nooooooooo! Stop! Don't! Our resort <is> in the jungle and not on the beach. Fuck.

I've been told that when the really big jungle spiders walk you can hear their leg joints click. Sleep tight.

Not. Funny. 

A good read about the Neapolitan pizza. With pictures.

The Serious Eats Guide To Pizza In Naples

IDENTIFYING A NEAPOLITAN PIZZA IN THE WILD

If you're to ask the Associazone Verace Pizza Napoletana—one of the few certification organizations that dole out authenticity certificates to pizzerias around the globe—what constitutes a true Neapolitan pizza, you'll be met with an extraordinarily stringent set of rules. God help the pizzaiolo who claims to be making true Neapolitan pizza and gets audited on his process.

Among the criteria (which is outlined on this 11 page document) are such things as:

Compressed yeast, biologically produced, solid, soft and beige in colour ,with quite an insipid taste and a low degree of acidity must be used. Yeast must be purchased in packages ranging from 25-500 grams. (Saccharomices cerevisiae) (See Italian Decreto Ministeriale. 21/03/1973 e 18/06/1996). The use of Natural yeast is also permitted (see appendices).

The dough must be made by slowly adding flour (1.7 to 1.8 kilograms depending on protein content) to a water, yeast, and salt mixture over the course of ten minutes and must mix on low speed for precisely 20 minutes.

The dough should have a final pH of 5.87, ±10% and a final density of 79 grams per cubic centimeter

When stretched, the center of the dough must be no more than .4 centimeters (±10%) in thickness.

The following variations of fresh tomatoes can be used: "S.Marzano dell'Agro Sarnese-nocerino D.O.P"., "Pomodorini di Corbara (Corbarino)", "Pomodorino del piennolo del Vesuvio" D.O.P."

Certified mozzarella di bufala campana D.O.P, mozzarella S.T.G.

The traditional domed, wood-fueled ovens that a Neapolitan pizza is baked in has remained identical in design for several hundred years. Made with stone or brick and completely sealed (aside from the door and the chimney), it's this oven that allows a pizzaiolo to stoke wood fires (oak, ash, beech, or maple are recommended, though there is no restriction other than that it must be free of moisture or excessive smoke) up to crazy high temperatures. A minimum floor temperature of 905°F and a minimum air temperature of 800°F are required.

There are strict protocols in place for oven sizes—the dome must be 45 to 50 centimeters high, while the door must be 22 to 25 centimeters. The floor space is defined at 140 to 150 centimeters in diameter.

To aid browning of the upper surface, a pizzaiolo might lift the pie up to the top of the dome of the oven for a few seconds as the pies finish, a process that should take between 60 and 90 seconds.

When inserted into the oven, the moist, loose Neapolitan pizza dough should instantly start to puff, creating bubbles with thin walls and micro-bubbles on top of them, with even thinner walls. These thin walls will quickly brown in the air of the oven and against the hot stone floor while the rest of the pizza will remain more pale. It's this interplay of smoky, slightly bitter notes that comes from the charred spots and the soft, mild, pale dough in between that gives a Neapolitan pizza its great complexity.

Unlike a crisp-crusted New York-style or hefty Deep Dish Chicago-style pies, a Neapolitan pizza will have a soft, tender, nearly soupy center. Some folks find this off-putting. I personally like the sauce, oil, and whey-soaked bits of tender crust that form down in there, and I'll fight my wife for my share of it.

There are two "basic" Neapolitan pizza styles that cover the vast majority of the pizzas you'll find in Naples: the Pizza Marinara, which combines tomatoes, oregano, olive oil, and garlic (and in which "the green of the oregano and the white of the garlic has perfectly amalgamated"), or the Pizza Margherita which uses tomatoes, olive oil, fresh mozzarella di bufala (water buffalo milk mozzarella), and basil leaves (applied before cooking so that their green color has been "slightly darkened by the cooking process.").

That's it, as simple as that. Some of the fancier pizzerias will offer variations with toppings, but in all cases, the toppings are added extremely sparsely, with an eye towards balance and simplicity. You will never see an American-style "Pizza Supreme," that is so loaded with toppings that the crust is entirely lost. Neapolitan pizza is first and foremost about the interplay of dough, sauce, and olive oil.

At a sit-down pizzeria, this is how it's done. You will never see a pizza come pre-cut into "slices," as that would cause the very soupy toppings to seep underneath and turn the whole thing soggy. You could try to manually cut it into slices, but they'll be so floppy that you'll need several extra fingers just to hold them out.

Before I'd actually been to Naples, I'd heard over and over that "pizza in Naples is always eaten with a knife and fork." Always.

I don't know whether things have changed in recent years or it's simply misinformation, but Naples actually has a very lively no-utensils-required street-pizza ("street-za?") scene, with many of the older pizzerias selling whole pies out of display windows on the street for only a euro or two.

So if they don't cut them into slices, how does one eat them? The Quad-Fold. The pizza is placed on a sheet of heavy duty paper, folded in half once, then folded again, much like you'd see in a Paris crepe-shop.



What you end up with is a tidy little pizza package, ready to be picked at with your fingers, or waiting for you to dive right in mouth first. Does it disturb the sauce and cheese distribution? Yeah, sure it does. But Neapolitan pizzas are a pretty slapdash affair to begin with. Don't worry, it'll still taste plenty good.

I figure that could get me in WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much trouble so I think I'll pass.

Take a train to Florence, rent a car and head south. We’re staying in a renovated barn at Azienda Agricola Terre Di Melazzano in Greve In Chianti. It is surrounded by vineyards and olive groves. They produce 4 wines (Chianti Classico, Chianti Classico Reserva, a 100% Sangiovese Toscano Rosso, and a Toscano Rosato); Vin Santo, Grappa and olive oil.



Our bedroom with a view




We have a private patio overlooking the pool but the real deal is the tasting terrace…



…with a bar.


Unless they kick me out I intend to spend some time here.


Food, food, food!!! So many good food options. In town there is a butcher shop named Antica Macelleria Falorni that has been in the family since 1806. They specialize in Wild Boar Sausage, Wild Boar Salame and Wild Boar Prosciutto. The same family owns Enoteca Falorni the largest enoteca in Tuscany with over 1,000 labels and more than 100 wines available for tasting. Probably stay out of there because the allegedly “best” beer bar in Tuscany, La Birroteca di Greve, is in town. I think it is actually the only beer bar in Tuscany. They have a “no pasta, no pizza, no wine” policy. I intend to be these peoples friend rather quickly. I am taking a couple of beers to share.


So I think my big celebrity chef dinner is this. There is also another butcher with a kitchen 8 km down the road in Panzano In Chianti named Dario Cecchini
 that is “a leading contemporary internationally known Italian butcher”. He and Mario Batali open restaurants together.


They serve a 50 Euro fixed price menu of

Muzzle and Broth

Spicy meat ragu on toast

Rosemary up the bum

Raw vegetables to dip in extra virgin olive oil

Our special salt

Garbanzo and white beans

Beef roast

Boiled beef and vegetable salad

Bistecca Fiorentina

Braised meat

Tuscan bread

Vittorio’s wine (a quarter liter)

Water with and without bubbles

Coffee, e.v. olive oil cake

Grappa and Italian Military spirits

ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER, FOR YOU ARE NOW IN THE HANDS OF A BUTCHER.



Italian Military Spirits??? This is definitely going to happen. Did I mention Pam is a vegetarian? They actually have a vegetarian menu available every day.



Then there are restaurants scattered around that look really appealing like Ristoro di Lamole
out in the country down a make Pam "weep, pray and close her eyes while I drive" road. Osteria alla Piazza is another one that is in a wide spot in the road. La Castellana and Taverna del Guerrino are in the village of Montefioralle on top of a hill just out of town.



Speaking of towns on hills we are going to be checking out some/all of these.


Certaldo, where you take a funicular up to the city



San Gimignano, known as the Town of Fine Towers


Monteriggioni, because… well look…


We are also going to take a day trip to Siena


Depending on how out of control my dining has been we may try and hit La Taverna di San Giuseppi


I intend to drink a little Chianti while we are in the area.

Braised with a little such, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............................