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Rome Day 3
I don’t think I will ever get tired of prosciutto for breakfast. Bread and the walnut rambol with tangelos (?) is just about perfect. The fridge gets really cold and froze our strawberries. No, it wasn’t the freezer. Now they are strawberry shaped bags of strawberry flavored gel. Oh well, let the day begin and wear your comfortable socks. I didn’t go to my usual for my morning cappuccino because we had a train to catch. Hustled down to the Colosseo Metro stop and take it south a couple stops to Piramide. Yes that Colosseum and that pyramid. Wait, what pyramid? The one Caius Cestius built for himself. We met our guide Amanda in line for a coffee. Hard to say how she picked me out of the crowd. It must be my accent. We caught the 8:24 train to Ostia Antica and had our second ever tour which turned out to be just us and her. Ostia Antica was the port city of ancient Rome and in it’s heyday of the second century had 20,000 inhabitants. It was a working class city. Pompeii was luxury homes and resorts. This is how and where working Romans lived. It is so well preserved because the Empire just fizzled out. By 330 Rome wasn’t even Rome. Constantine split the empire and the real seat of power, the new Rome, was Constantinople. The city was just abandoned and remained so until Mussolini unearthed it in his attempt to tie his regime to the glory of Ancient Rome. Thanks Il Duce. In Pompeii the homes were sprawling single story affairs. In Ostia there were 4 and 5 story apartment blocks. Today the top floor, the penthouse, is the most desirable location. Not so then, top floor meant farther to carry water up and shit down. It was also the last to get out of a burning building.The frescos are black and white versus the obviously more expensive colored ones. There are wine bars, you know I had to get a picture at an Ancient Roman walk up bar, bakeries, fish sellers, grain storage warehouses, shipping offices, large public baths, smaller private ones, a forum, public toilets, temples, stables… everything a city needed to function. What it has that Pompeii doesn’t is shade, almost no crowds and is only a half hour ride away. What is doesn’t have is the sexy story… “and then they all died.” We had lunch at the museum restaurant/cafeteria. Pam had a tomato, buffalo mozzarella and zucchini panino. I had a baby octopus, mushroom and pea salad with potatoes and olive oil. What? Yep I ate baby octopus at a cafeteria. It was great. A caffe and back out to see how Romans lived. Our guide stayed with us an extra hour plus but then split. Pam and I just wandered around some more and then checked out the museum. They have some amazing statuary recovered from Ostia like Mithras slaying the sacred bull and the iconic kissing couple Amor and Psyche. We caught the train back and were worried about which station to get off at. None of the names seemed to match what I thought it should be. Oh yeah, it’s the very last stop where the train starts going the other way and there is a giant freaking pyramid. It is also the site of the Porta San Paolo gate in the Aurelian Wall which is cool but also the sight of the Cimitero Acattolico di Roma or The Non-Catholic Cemetery of Rome. Goethe, Shelley and Keats are buried there. There are towering cypress and a lush undergrowth that make it a garden as much as a cemetery. We found Keats grave and his inscription is pretty cool. “Here lies one whose name was written in water.” There are a million cats. At least 20 that we saw. Ostia had a bunch of cats too and they all looked the same. The cemetery cats were as diverse as the dead folks contained within. There are inscriptions in 15 languages in there. No Jim Morrison like Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris but Keats was kind of the same thing. It closes at 5:00 which apparently a lot of people were surprised to discover. So many disappointed faces at not being able to enter a cemetery. Lot’s of Keats fans I suppose. We were tired and hungry and out feet hurt and we had gotten a bit much sun and so we went looking for dinner. I can’t call it a miss but it wasn’t my finest moment. I had kind of pre selected a restaurant if we were in the area and we were. The restaurant, Ketumbar (http://www.ketumbar.it/), on Via Galvani in Testaccio, was great. The food we got and the wine we got and the service we got were all first rate. I wasn’t. I went in like I was a tired, hungry, feet hurting, slightly burnt, tourist that didn’t know how to read an Italian menu and didn’t know when to eat. All true but I am usually better. 5:30 is an indecent time to sit down to dinner. A lot of restaurants don’t even open until 7:30. We should have gone for an aperitivo somewhere but I just wanted to sit after 10+ miles of 2 millennia old basalt paver road that we walked all day. They were gracious and served us anyway. We ended up, that isn’t correct, we were privileged to be served a Bruschetta spettinata al Pecorino con pesto al finocchietto selvatico e anacardi (Bruschette served with thin sliced sweet cherry tomatoes, pecorino cheese and wild fennel & cashew pesto). Pam had a glass of the house dry biologic white and Spaghettoni “Verrigni” ai pistacchi profumati al lime (Verrigni spaghetti with a lime scented pistachio sauce). And I had Spaghetti al nero di seppia “Verrigni” con gamberi e avocado (Verrigni squid ink spaghetti with giant prawn and avocado. Verrigni? It is reputedly the finest pasta in all the land from Abruzzo since 1898. Small batch pasta made from wheat stone ground by hand, Gran Sasso water, extruded thru gold dies and dried between 45-50 degrees C. I am totally not kidding. Everything was excellent. The restaurant is built into the Monte dei Cocci, an actual mountain made out of broken amphoras, the terra cotta shipping jugs, from Ancient Rome. A specialized garbage dump. You can see it thru the back wall. Wacky. We headed out and walked back towards our apartment and stopped at what I like to refer to as the secret Orange Garden. Because it’s not like I mistook a nearly identical Giardino Storico di Sant'alessio Orange Garden overlooking the Tiber with a glorious view of St Peter's Basilica at sunset for the more crowded but real Giardino degli Aranci Orange Garden literally next door. I mean who would do that? Totally meant to have the more private experience and anyways our oranges were better looking. Totally meant to. I did. No, really. Walked down past the Roseto di Roma Capitale, Roman Capital Rose Garden, which is in full bloom as were both Orange Gardens. Then past the Mouth of Truth, Fountain of the Tritons, Temple of Hercules the Victor, Temple of Portuno, Marcello Theater, Temple of Apollo Sosiano and a bunch of other old stuff. That was all in a two block stretch. There is soooo much stuff they can’t keep it all up. The Temple of Portuno would be a national treasure in every other country except maybe Greece and it is overgrown. Someone needs to get Rome a weed whacker. We stopped into another Catholic church, Chiesa di Santa Maria in Portico in Campitelli, with a huge golden... I don’t know what it’s called. But it was huge and gold all the way at the end or back or whatever. There are 985 Catholic churches in Rome today. Probably 986 by tomorrow. We walked by the Turtle Fountain, climbed all the way up to the 28th floor or whatever it is and took our shoes off and did laundry. That was a good day.

Rome Day 5 (Still catching up)
Pam wakes me early and is not pleased. Today is the day to go to the Vatican and I might have applied too liberal an interpretation to “go have fun” last night. I think she believes I won’t be able to make it on just a few hours downtime. Oh well, life is full of choices and their consequences. Quick bite of the little purse of apple pastry we picked up from Roscioli last night. Pam got something but not what she wanted. She wanted a Pistachio cake that was big enough for us to eat for a day or two. When I tried to order the woman said it was sold by weight and I couldn’t cut it in half to sell. Ok, don’t cut it I’ll take the whole thing, right? No, you can’t buy the whole thing, it is sold by weight. What? We did that twice and she wasn’t in the mood to try and improve her comprehension of English so Pam ordered something chocolate and delicious. I watched the same thing happen to another person so I don’t think it was just me. I grabbed a quick caffe and we took off. Most morning coffees are quick. It isn’t the custom to sit and linger over a cup of coffee. Especially not an espresso. You drink it standing at the bar and knock it back like a shot before the crema is gone. Where we are supposed to meet for our Vatican tour is a 30 minute walk and we have never been there before but it looks like a fairly simple route. It was simple until the curb caught my heel and I took a minor spill. Well, minor to the majority of me but my left hand would argue otherwise. No broken bones but it is sore. Lesson learned. Probably not. We arrived right on time and walked down the stairs to meet for a City Wonders tour at the designated spot to learn we had to walk to the top of the stairs to get in line to walk to the bottom of the stairs to check in to then walk to the top of the stairs to meet our guide. Really? Emanuel is our guide and there are 20 of us. The vatican is a zoo and there is no way I would try and navigate it on my own. The lines to get in were enormous if you weren’t part of a tour. Saying we breezed in is an overstatement but comparatively speaking we did. The place is vast. We saw artworks from the earliest Christian times on up. He explained the history, story, religious meaning, political meaning (and EVERYTHING had a political meaning), artistic significance, it’ s relationship to other art work of the time, its impact on later art, the story of the artist and stories of the models depicted. Totally different experience than just seeing pretty, or mostly pretty, paintings of dead people. Like I said tho, the place is a zoo. A couple of oddball highlights were the first painting of Jesus with creepy follow you wherever you walk eyes, the first painting depicting night, a 3d illusion of a ceiling because always look up, a painting with a table that points at you from the fight and the left sides, what bumblebees represent, intact Etruscan bronzes that were buried so they didn’t get mented down for coins and weapons, a statue by Alexander the Great's favorite sculpture, the gardens, “Keep off the Grass” sign in many languages, tapestries, triptych altar pieces, ceilings galore and more. I discovered my favorite room in the world to date. Sistine Chapel, no. St Peter's Basilica, no. The Hall of Maps. I love maps and I love ceilings. It has both. 24 panels down each side showing Italy from south to north with the wast coast on the left and east on the right. The ceiling are panels of the important people and events of the region shown on the wall under them. Until the 1800’s sometime this hallway was the official map of Italy. Or at least of the Catholic state of Central Italy ruled by the Pope. Italy as we know it didn’t exist before like 1862. The central portion including Rome was Pope ruled, both religiously and politically, while the rest were city states like Genoa or foreign ruled kingdoms like Sicily. Really cool. Yes we saw Cappella Sistina, the Sistine Chapel, and it is marvelous. Michelangelo didn’t lay on his back to paint it. He stood and craned his neck just like you do to view it. OSHA would not approve and no doubt a workmans comp claim could be filed today. A few years ago a Japanese company that was not mentioned directly by name, NHK Nippon TV not Sony surprisingly, paid for the restoration in exchange for exclusive image rights. It’s all kind of murky details but the deal is that no photos are allowed. Everyone tries to sneak one and so did I. Most people go for the big money shot of The Creation panel. Seen it and there are much better pictures than I could take. Despite my admonishment to always look up I went the other way. Yes I snuck a photo of the little noticed Sistine Floor. You are welcome. The Chapel truly is magnificent. And having a good explanation of what we were seeing and how it was made really made it a richer experience. And then the big daddy of them all, Basilica di San Pietro, St. Peter's Basilica, It is huge beyond belief. I thought being able to see it from all over Rome meant Rome was small and it was centrally located, both kind of true but mostly it is gigantic. You could easily fit every church we have visited up to this point inside it. So huge that the hold 3 simultaneous masses in there 3 times a day and there is still enough room for a billion people gawking. If the grandeur and vastness doesn’t make you feel god, it didn’t, it will at least make you feel money and power, it did. I think Pam felt the other way. Tour ended there and Pam souvenir shopped. I hung outside the shop which is well inside the basilica within sight of the door up against the wall in an out of the way corner next to yet another BIG piece of art. A Chinese, I believe, tour group came along and stopped in front of me and the guide was presumably explaining the BIG artwork and couldn’t figure out why this horde of tiny Chinese old ladies wasn’t looking at her or BIG art until she turned around and there was me. That broke the spell and reality clicked back into place for them. It was a bizarre experience and pretty damn funny. Eventually we left. I had gotten Pam there on time, gone all the way thru without any ill affects and waited patiently for her to get as much of the place as she wanted. Not positive but I think I am back in her good graces. We walked slowly back home so I could familiarize her with the way to and from the Vatican for her Wednesday morning meet and greet with the Pope. It’s not Bono but she is still excited. (Disclaimer, she isn’t going to meet the Pope, or Bono, it is the Papal Audience with hundreds, thousands, millions of other faithful.) She does landmark travel while I do map in my head travel. So right at the Timberland store, left past the Roscioli to the Giant RED Apple Phone on the side of the building then all the way down across the bridge and left again at the twins suckling the wolf and down the street between the obelisk shaped street lights to the news stand on the left. We stopped at the Giant RED Apple Phone corner for lunch, yes just lunch, at L'Insalata Ricca. We meant to walk into the place next door, Origano Campo de' Fiori, but oops too late. We got an order of suppli for Pam to try (they really did save my life). A huge 4 Formaggi salad with obviously 4 cheeses, pears, figs, sun dried tomatoes and just to make it weird, potatoes. And I’m not sure what that kind of pasta that is so let’s try it Paccheri con pachino, rughetta e parmigiano (huge tube pasta, cherry tomato, arugula and Parmesan). Dinner is at 7:30 and I need a nap. We snoozed for an hour or two and then headed back out. We just leisurely strolled around and saw what we saw until time for dinner. Nonna Betta has a sign out front that says “You always think of someone when you are cooking, otherwise you are just making food.” Their specialty is Anthony Bourdain acclaimed Carciofo alla Guida or Fried Artichoke Jewish Style. House white and red, a fried artichoke and the upscale version of yesterday's pizza Fiori di Zucca or Fried Pumpkin Flowers stuffed with Anchovy. They love some fried food here. Primi course of more artichoke because why not. Lasagna con Carciofi (Lasagna with Artichoke) that Pam destroyed and Tagliolini con Carciofi (you get the idea). Awesome amazing and quintessentially Roman. A caffe and let’s go for a walk. We haven’t actually walked around the colosseum yet so let’s go do that. Hey! Let’s take the night tour. Realy awesome. No crowd at all and you get to feel the age of the place. It is a long convoluted story and our guide, who is an architect and working on her PhD in Ancient Hydrology was great. She was passionate and knowledgeable. Just 4 of us and well well well worth it. At one time it had fallen into such a state of decay that there were trees growing all over it, people living in it and flocks of sheep grazing. They want to renovate the entire floor to rent it as a private performance space. She was very much not in favor of that. And no, there were not mock naval battles in it. A walk around the Arch of Constantine (Here’s an arch I’m taking the rest of the city to Constantinople) and it is time to call it a day.

Rome-Ravello Day 7
Pam is up EARLY. The Pope don’t wait. I laze around as I am want to do and clean up the apartment. It has been perfect and I hope I don’t forget to pack anything. I get everything together, toss the garbage and recycling, apparently plastic goes in the container labeled “plastic”, drag all of our luggage downstairs and drop the key in Giovanni’s mailbox. Too late now. A word about our luggage in general. We have 2 backpacks and 2 small rollers. That’s it. And if you are wondering why I look the same in every picture there is a simple reason. I only take 2 pairs of pants that look the same 4 black polo shirts, 4 pairs of underwear, 4 pairs of socks, a pair of basketball shorts to sleep in, a black leather jacket and my Keen boots. That’s enough for me to live indefinitely as far as I know. I pick up a t shirt along the way, Bar Rosanna this time, and buy a toothbrush at a flea market. I lugged all of that around the corner to a handy stow and go luggage storage place. There were 5 Canadian kids in front of me trying to come up with the 90 Euro deposit on a phone and they were taking forever to figure out who needed to put in what. The guy behind the counter looked at me, I rolled my eyes and he shushed them out of the way, and gave me a 3 for the price of 2 and an extra hour. Sweet. They may still be there trying to figure it out. Pam meets me at our local an hour early. Seems the Pope had an important engagement meeting the Michigan Wolverine football team or something and cut it all short.We have a little business to take care of like buying bus tickets, getting cash and buying stamps. And Pam wanted a shopping bag from a grocery store we saw called Pam Local. Done. We got some sandwiches at a hole in the wall called Pane Piu’ Baguetteria. They were delish. Sun dried tomatoes, basil pesto, Parmigiano Reggiano and mozzarella and Italian speck (ham), scamorza smoked cheese, sun dried tomatoes and arugula both on multi grain baguettes. You know who got what. Back by Rosanna for a last caffe… and a plate of rigatoni with tuna and salmon. I know I ate a sandwich 5 minutes before, I know. Then it’s time to retrieve luggage and hop on the bus. The H that we took yesterday will get us close to Termini Train Station so let’s take it. It was packed. A very elegant elderly Italian woman saw us hustle to catch it and then back off because there was no room. She asked if we spoke English and then told us to go down half a block to the Argentina bus stop and catch either the 400 or the 64. Grazie, prego. So we did. Jumped on the 64 that was right there and off we go. Wish we would have waited for the 400. It was crowded, we had luggage and it got more crowded. And hot. Really really hot and we are both wearing our jackets and there is no way to inhale much less take off a jacket. Pam was afraid she was going to faint. Have I mentioned that Romans are still wearing winter coats and scarves? They are laying in the sun in down jackets when it is 70 degrees. Want to stand out as a tourist? Don’t wear a jacket. Or look like me. If James and I were to walk down the street together I think they would surrender the city of Rome rather than go thru the whole Visigoth Barbarian conquest episode again. That will do it to. We got to the train station negotiated that, found our platform, car and seats. We have the window seats facing each other and the lady next to PAm has never seen anything like us at all. Really didn’t know what to make of us. High speed train down to Naples. You don’t really realize how fast you are going untill you meet a train coming the other way. It was nothing but a solid red blur for like a second and gone.cruise thru the mountains and our ears popped like 3 times didn’t expect that. Antonio, call me Tony, met us at the Napoli Centrale Station with a sign with our name. Hed drove us “I want to tell you the truth…” Drove thru the tomato valley, up thru the Milk Mountains with their chestnut and walnut forests down thru Ravello to Villa Scarpariello Relais. This is magic ya’ll. Pam didn’t have a clue where we were staying and her jaw dropped . It is a XIV century castle built to protect the Amalfi Coast from Turkish pirates. It is built into the cliff overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. The gardens along with the orange and lemon trees are in bloom. There is a freaking draw bridge. The king of Italy lived here for a while. It is what people dream about. We have a small room called Glicine which is WIsteria in Italian. We have a private deck looking out over the sea at the town of Minori. I can see the light of the monastery on a mountain above Minori that takes 3 hours of climbing steps to reach. Pictures of hotel rooms always look bigger than in real life and this is no exception. It is a small room. But pictures can not describe how beautiful this place is. WE get checked in look around a bit and say “Look at that!” about 30 times and then decide it’s time to eat. If it was after May 1st the restaurant would be open and we wouldn’t leave but alas, it’s not so we must. A half mile walk to Minori down a 1 ½ lane road (walk on the beach side, hug the stone wall keeping cars from plunging into the sea and if you are Pam, pray like crazy. No way am I walking back on that road in the dark. We went to Ristorante Giardiniello and ordered a couple pizzas. Pam got grilled eggplant, sundried tomatoes, mozzarella and basil and I went Diavola with spicy salami and mozzarella. Dessert was Chocolate Cake “Something” Style and I am kicking myself for not writing it down and Lemon Delight, an Amalfi Coast classic. Our waiter brought us a couple glasses and a bottle of Italian lemon moonshine or Limoncello and then the orange version of it. Pam took a shine to the lemon. As ked our waiter if he knew a cab and he said he would be right back. And he was with Tony! “I want to tell you the truth I was just here meeting a friend from London that moved away many years ago. He wants to see old friends because he has been gone so long but if I tell you the truth he wants to sell his house too…” Awesome! Back to the enchanted castle by the sea with Pam whispering for no apparent reason. I called reception and they brought me a bottle of local Amalfi Coast red and I sat right here on this terrace, watched the lights from Minori twinkle on the Mediterranean and wrote some. Damn. Just damn. What is tomorrow going to be like?

Amalfi to Napoli Day 9
TODAY WE EAT PIZZA! But first we have to get to Naples. But before that we get served breakfast on our balcony. And I thought it couldn’t get any better. Same breakfast as yesterday. I mixed some honey into my yogurt. Pam sparked that by mixing in some of the mixed berry jam in a tin. Checkout is smooth and we have reception call a taxi to keep from standing on the side, closer to the middle, of the road with luggage waiting for the bus. Even a backpack increases your profile enough to significantly increase your chances of getting clipped by a car or more likely a scooter. Not surprised when Tony shows up. He drives us to Amalfi all the while being charming. We went to Amalfi so we could catch a ferry to Salerno. While waiting we chat with a young couple and their 2 year old that are from Finland. It’s cloudy and a bit rainy. Since it is a direct route we’re not stopping in Minori and Maori so we are farther off the coast and not hugging the shore so I don’t get the up close money short of Villa Scarpariello. When we disembark from the ferry I asked the dock attendant (?) which way to the train station in my pathetic Italian. He told me it was behind the brown building. They are ALL some shade of brown except the one green one. I neglected to load a local offline map for Salerno. We caught up with the Finnish couple and they knew which brown building it was. Pretty uneventful train ride. We helped a young American couple we had talked to while buying tickets to figure out what their tickets said. Which train they were on next, what car, seat numbers, how to find the right car. It can be intimidating. They had it mostly figured out but like we found a little reassurance can go a long ways. That and you know I love to be a know it all. This is our second time in Napoli Centrale but last time we had Tony meeting us and he whisked us thru. This time we are on our own and be bust out into Piazza Garibaldi. After the Amalfi Coast this is utter chaos. It is loud, people are big city determined to get somewhere right away, cars are honking, sirens wailing, people begging, street markets, graffiti, garbage on the side of the street, streets suddenly swelling with kids getting out of school… Time to put a semi scowl on my face, keep scanning the people close by, keep my head down and walk with purpose. Don’t stop for pictures and know where you are going. If you need to consult Google Maps don’t do it in the pedestrian traffic flow. I want that “I don’t have time to mess with you and neither does she” vibe. No worries. We arrive at our place, Ilaria’s House, on Vico Nuovo ai Librai. It has an elevator. Thank my lucky stars. Not sure we could handle the 5 floor walk up. But the advantage is a rooftop view of Vesuvius. We are in the very center of Napoli. Just off of Spaccanapoli, the main drag of shops and nighttime strolling of Naples. We are 8 minutes or less from the most famous pizzerias in the world. Close to the Duomo, Cappella San Severo, National Archeological Museum,... everything. Ilaria, Hillary, is petite, charming and lovely. We get the keys and settle in. I immediately swap out her key ring for mine. I wear the keys wherever we are on a cord around my neck. Do not lose the keys. Out we go and now we can be a bit more tourist. The first thing to do is eat pizza. But on the way there I take Pam down Via S. Gregorio Armeno, the street of Nativities. She is in sensory overload. If you didn’t know Pam has one of the foremost collections of nativities in the world. Maybe not the world but more than anyone you know. This is a whole street of nothing but Nativity mangers, figures baby Jesi, miniature camels, everything you could ever wish for. She is dazed so it is easy to walk her thru it and onto Gino Sorbillo. Gino is the rock star of the pizza world. Pizza in Naples isn’t about the sauce or the ingredients. It’s all about the dough and the crust. It has to be cooked in a wood fired oven at close to 800 degree F. The crust is thin to start with but very elastic so as soon as it hits the oven it starts to bubble and then bubbles on top of bubble and then bubbles on top of those and it is all over in 90 seconds or so. The middle is soupier than we are used to and the tomato sauce is just tomato. Pam got a Pesto with smoked mozzarella, cherry tomatoes, basil pesto and basil. Boom! I got a Prosciutto e funghi. These are considered somewhat fancy. If your dough and therefore your crust is good why do you need any ingredients on top at all. The char on the bottom is called leopard spotting and it better be there. We were the last ones in before they closed for the late afternoon and reopening in the evening. Good luck follows us. We only really have 3 things to see in Naples so let’s go do one. We went to Cattedrale Metropolitana di Santa Maria Assunta or Naples Cathedral. Remember me saying how over Cathedrals I was? I take it back. This was nuts. Lots of silver figures all over. Painted ceilings, a radiant high altar with the sun shining thru, bones from old guys, tombs, more life size silver figures, a lot more, and the oldest baptistery in the western world. Wow. WE saw the sternest looking baby Jesus I have ever seen. Mary looked kind of pissed too. Time to go walking. One of the stranger sights was a street side Pringle dispenser. Like a gumball machine except little cans of Pringles. Went by a couple record shop/bars. Slash/Futuribile was Italiano, jazz and disco oriented. Rootz as you might guess was a Reggae joint. We walked down Via Santa Maria di Costantinopoli and there were 15 music stores selling acoustic guitars, electric guitars, mandolins, banjos, drums, brass, bass… All in a 3 or 4 block stretch. Passed a cafe and someone was burning. Walk down Spaccanapoli in the dwindling evening with your love and feel a city breath. We walked to a store to get a few supplies. A bottle of local white, a giant Coke, a roll of paper towels and an orange. It was 5 Euros. Even if the wine is water that is still a deal. Back to the apartment for a rest and then back out Time for more pizza.We walked the 6 minutes to L'Antica Pizzeria da Michele. Supposed to be the best Neapolitan pizza in the world. There is always a crowd. They only serve Margherita and Marinara. Sorry, in a city FULL of pizza joints I’m not waiting that long. Instead we go around the corner to Pizzeria Trianon di Ciro. It’s been in that location since 1923. I got the straight Maria Sophia Margherita and Pam got all fancy and got the Margherita Napoletana S.T.G. which was the same as mine except it had olive oil drizzled on it. You order a pie for each person and you eat with a knife and fork. That would be 2 world famous pizza joints in one day. Walk on back to the apartment and start crashing. Pam is gone instantly and then I hear construction next door. Or demolition or… no that’s fireworks. Up the ladder to the roof I go to check it out. I have stood on a roof in Naples, Italy in my underwear watching fireworks. Bucket list check. Fortunately no photographic evidence of this exists. You are welcome. Out.

Naples is a city of second hand shops and discount stores. It is grimy. It is graffitied. It is alive. Rome has so much to see but it is all 2000 years dead. Naples has old buildings and just s rich a history but is isn’t a museum set. It is beautiful decay. The internets and guide books say it is dirty and dangerous. We found it fascinating and never felt threatened at all.

Napoli to Tuscany Day 11 (Finally caught up)
I now hate seagulls. At the first crack of light they take to the sky screaming nonstop. My decision to not wake up after 3 hours sleep with a banging hangover is looking better and better. I can hear one of them circling overhead. It fades as it goes away then picks back up to an unbelievable racket before fading again.You can tell it is the same one. I hate it and wish it harm. Not enough to get out of bed and do anything but still. About the time the alarm is going to go off the seagulls stop and the pigeons start up cooing. They are entirely sleepable. Final morning activities and pack everything up, give it the once over twice, turn off the wi-fi, take the key off of my cord, shut the door and head out for adventure. Today is the day we drive.But first we stop back at XXXXX and get a Cornet and Caffe to go. I asked for the cornet in a general kind of way and he picks up one with big white crystals on it and asks “This one?” “Si!” Wonder what it’s going to be. The caffe starts with a scoop of crema and then the espresso added. Crazy rich and sweet. The cornet is mostly poof with sugar crystals on the outside and a mild lemon custard with raisins on the inside. Walk thru the mostly empty streets, abandoned in comparison to a few hours either way, to the train station. It is not a direct so we stop in Rome Termini and then Rome Tribunali. The trip back up to Rome is thru broad valleys with mountains on either side and is produce farm country. North of Rome we pop out into much more densely packed hills with pasture land giving way to vineyards. We are flying now. You can feel it. The info board says 249 Km/hr. Pam went to the club car and got a Coke and then it was my turn. The trek can be best described as an adventure in stumbling, lurching and staggering. This train and every one of them so far has left exactly on time and arrived exactly on time and we get to Florence right on time. We had about an hour before the car rental place closed but it was only a 10 minute walk.Grabbed a couple of slices of pie out of a window in a wall. He said come back later and they would have fried pizza. Oh yes I will. Walk into Avis/Budget, take a number and wait. We are number 53 and they are serving number 42. This is going to take a while. Nope, About half the numbers must have decided to just walk or bike or something instead and left. The guy who was #52 is at the counter next to me. I came up to my counter with a big goofy Jeff smile and a cheery bonjourno. He complained about the wait and got pissed when the inevitable insurance upsell pitch came. Called it a ripoff and got pissy. Not how you want to act. It’s a car rental place of course they are going to pitch the “full coverage”. I asked how much, she told me, I asked what that covered, she said everything, no deductible, no nothing. Sure. Then she was smiling and said ok then she would knock off the second driver fee, add 6 hours to the return time and upgrade my car. She thinks we are from the frozen north in North Carolina. Said her hair looks like mine but she rides a motorcycle everyday so she cut it short. We laugh and joke and she explains everything slowly and b\clearly and makes sure we understand. Awesome. The guy next to me didn’t have the same experience at all. Too bad for him. For 80 Euro I am not going to worry a bit about driving and he is going to be pissed the entire time and stress about it. They put us in a Fiat 500L. I guess the upgrade was the “L”. Honestly I was hoping for smaller. But they hand me they keys show me the exit and we are driving. No seriously we are driving on the streets of Firenze. She had drawn us the route out of town which I followed up to a point and Bob’s baller Garmin told me which way to go and I did up to a point. Honestly I have driven this road in Google Maps Street View so many times I don’t need help. Until we start looking for a grocery store. We just want some Coke (This whole thing could be an ad for Coca Cola couldn’t it?), some OJ, maybe a piece of fruit and some butter. Shouldn’t be hard right? Guess again. We have a couple hours to kill before we can check in so we tell the GPS to find a grocery store. We drove to a couple and no dice. We are getting used to the signs and stuff so we can spot the supermarket signs now and chase them. No luck. It’s Sunday in the boonies and there isn’t anything open. Well, except for bars, cafes, restaurants, toy stores, bike shops, t-shirt stores, etc. Gas stations are kind of open. The pumps are still active but that’s it. I give up. We did stop at a drop dead gorgeous golf course just so could look. I am really starting to adapt to the car and roads. Poor Pam is not adapting to my driving nearly as well. She goes running for the shelter of her mother’s little helper and she smooths out. It is spectacularly beautiful driving these roads. About every 100 meters it looks like a wine label and probably is. Here is the thing that I wonder about. Everything is so close. It was in Paris, we walked everywhere easily. All the towns and city centers in Belgium were minute. Amsterdam was bigger but not huge. We walked to everything in Rome except the Borghese and we did walk back from there. We took a cab in Amalfi but for reasons of stumbling personal safety. We walked all over Naples. The drive to Greve is like going to Clayton but with a lot better views. Do Europeans have the same sense of scale that Americans do? And I’m talking about drive to Charlotte to see a show Americans not never leave Manhattan Americans. I’m going to have to have some beverages and talk to someone about this. We stop at a cafe for a caffe and, well you know, and we get a couple pastries for the morning. There is only one thing I know to do at this point. Ask a bartender. So I head for the best, and only legit beer bar in Tuscany. But first a walk around the square, actually a triangle, in our new home town. All of the kinds of places mentioned are open but not any stores that sell unprepared or semi prepared food. Except one. Antica Macelleria Falorni is open. Pam you better wait outside, daddy has some meat to buy. This is a celebration of pig. I was so overwhelmed that I bought the same thing twice. We are in the land of Cinghiale so I got whole il Salame con Cinghiale, sliced il Salame con Cinghiale, il Capocollo di Cinghiale, Fiore di Mugello cow cheese, Pecorino Metello sheep cheese that is aged in the Garfagnana mountain of Metello and then covered in chestnut skins and Pecorino al Tartufo sheep cheese with black truffles. What is Cinghiale? Wild boar my friends, wild boar. I have been having dreams about this. Mission complete now let’s go drink a beer! I have been looking forward to this. I want to hang with someone who is so into beer that they open a beer only bar in Greve in Chianti. I have brought a Wicked Weed Dark Angel to share with him. It’s closed and for sale. You cannot imagine how bummed I am. Glad it is one of my bullets and not Pams. I’ll get over it. But not until I mofo a bunch. Not loudly or in the midst of polite folk but I need to work out some disappointment. Done, let’s get something to eat. How about the place next door that is still open and not for sale, Entocea in Greve. There are a thousand wines to chose from. Just bring me a nice glass of red to go with my meal and Pam likes a dry white. Both impressed. We shared a Caprese con Crostino di Pomodorini Semi Essiccati, CAprese with semi dried cherry tomatoes bruschetta. The mozzarella was melting and the semi dried cherry tomatoes were candy. Pam got an outstanding Ravioli Salvia, Noci e Pecorino, Ravioli with sage, walnuts and pecorino cheese. Like I said outstanding. One of the better things we have eaten. She accompanied that with a glass of Lilatro IGT Toscano Sangiovese. After going thru the Pam is vegetariano and yes the English menu would be fine I surprised them with a Pappardelle al Cinghiale. They thought we were both vegetarians. Nope. It was awesome and I drank a glass of a lighter Castell’in Villa Chianti Classico with it. A caffe and a taste of something in a heavier red, purchase a bottle call our AirBnB host(?) and we are off to see our new digs. I can tell you without any sense of false modesty I am a bad man. I am killing this shit. This place is insanely beautiful. Our renovated barn “Chiara” is We get situated in the place and then start exploring. Downstairs is a sitting room with tv and kitchen/dining room. We unplugged it first thing. I haven’t seen any tv in 11 days except for some soccer and I wasn’t even watching it. The, let’s call it salon, open onto a covered private deck. The kitchen opens onto a small patio with a grill. I intend to let others grill meat for me. Upstairs is are 2 bedrooms, a single and a double, and a bathroom. Our room has these huge windows that look out across vineyards and olive groves to the hills across the valley. I can stand upright in the shower. Pam has envisioned to many cars careening around corners and us doing a heady in her mind and is beat. She goes down for a nap. I crack open a bottle of Castello di Radda Chianti Classico Riserva 2013, plop down on the deck and soak it all in. I feel like Diane Lane. The sun sets and the beautiful gloom of a day concluded settles in over Terre Di Melazzano. I took a bunch of pictures and they look cool and all but they are like a page out of a coloring book in comparison. Time to try the bounty from my haul today and drink a bit more red. I don’t even know what we are doing tomorrow and I don’t care. I am going to bed just so I can wake up here.

Greve in Chianti Day 13
Inexplicably there is a screen door inside at the top of the stairs. I think that like all screen product it is meant to keep bugs at bay. But it isn’t sealed real well, at all, around the perimeter and it has no provision for latching shut so that it is always open in the morning. I must be missing something.We have a simple breakfast of rudely acquired orange and strawberries, super fruit chunky yogurt ( we have only seen yogurt for sale in 2 packs) and tea. Off to adventure some. First stop in to go to the regular Tuesday market in Strada in Chianti.It’s not in the main square, Piazza Emilio Landi, so we drive a bit, ask for help from a very helpful man who, due to our mutual lack of skills in each others language, prove to be no help at all.We now know how to get back to where it isn’t. The town isn’t that big so let’s just cruise and there it is. I stop in the middle of the street, Pam hops out and I go looking for a parking spot and a cappuccino. I find both and a cerise pastry. Now to see if I can find where the market is where I dropped Pam. I actually do have a pretty keen sense of direction and this place is tiny so it wasn’t much of a challenge. It’s not much of a market for her but it is for me. There is my nemesis, the fruit and vegetable stand. This time I stand back and watch for a minute. Cool, got it. Take a number from there and kinda browse from the outskirts until your number, 33 in my case, gets close then start filtering to the front so that when they call trenta tre you are ready. I mispronounce asparagi with and ending long “I” instead of a long “E”. Noted. I used Google Translate to help me get a ripe pear to eat tonight. SO I read that off my phone to the guy. He got a scared look so I showed him the words o my phone and then it was a conference between all four of them. Things were getting tense when I said “ripe?” “Ohhh ripe? You want ripe pear?” Si. I guess maturo pera is an inappropriate usage in that case. And then there was a cheese stand next to them where I got a piece of Italian blue. And next to that was a fishmonger with squid, cuttlefish and octopus galore. As adventurous as I am, I pass on them and go with some big gamberetti, shrimp. I’m cooking tonight. We find where I left the car, it’s still there. Score. I was worried as there were some mysterious symbols on the sign. Most I was familiar with and understood but some… Head back to the frm but it is not as late as I thought so let’s go to Figline Valdarno and another Tuesday market! It is up and over a mountain. When road signs around here say it is a curvy road ahead, pay attention because any turn less than 180 degrees is considered normal and not worth noting. And if the sign says the road narrows then you might want to fold in your mirrors. The GPS is just making up stuff at this point “In ¼ mile turn on *string of consonants with a lot of i’s and o’s thrown in.” I know I don’t talk I-talian and I am from the south and mispronounce almost everything I say BUT I do know that isn’t they way you say this stuff. The road curves so hard she is telling me to make u-turns to get back on the right road. It’s crazy. Get there and drop Pam off and go looking for a parking spot while trying to keep my bearings. Uh-oh this is a much bigger market and we haven’t really made any backup “meet me here at some o’clock” plan. FInd her after a bit and there’s not much to see out of all these vendors. Piles of clothes and shoes and not much else. Let’s head back across the mountain. I think I am halfway there as far as my driving. I’m driving fast and reckless enough to freak out other tourists who think I am driving like a maniac local and slow and scared enough to enrage locals who think I am driving like a little old lady. Pissing off everyone at the same time. Mission accomplished. Now let’s go to Azienda Agricola Podere Le Fornaci, a goat farm just north of Greve. Where we buy some 3 day old fresh goat cheese with herbs and some 20 day aged goat cheese. The goats are brown, Back to the farm to see if we can check in yet. There are some trekkers on the wine deck that tell us we just missed her. They are filling the pool in anticipation of the coming summer and it is sunny and lovely so we decide to sit out there. The poolside shower is a bit odd. A stone wall with a semi-circle of shrubbery around it and a solar heated shower head that looks like it came out of a moonshine still. Matter of fact the entire farm’s electrical needs are supplied by solar panels. Hey I recognize that guy from their website! He’s one of the owners and he tells us that the property manager will be back at 2. This is tangible progress. We meet her at 2 get our passports copied so we are legal and then get a bit of a rundown like how to start the cooktop and stuff. Ok, feeling better about things go it is back to adventuring. Next stop, the grocery store. We are determined to go to a grocery store. Nope, not right now. They close from 2 to 4. As does the sandwich shop I wanted to go to and just about everything else that isn’t an overpriced restaurant on the main square. We hustle over to a bar but no veg options so we head to the backup backup backup plan and “Sorry we’re closed, there are places on the main piazza…” “Yes, but those are places on the main piazza.” “Just a minute, let me check… Yes, we can serve you.” The only veg option they had was risotto and asparagus! “That is what she had last night.” “Well then we can make you a pasta with a tomato sauce?” Perfect and I will have the Pollo con Carciofo, Chicken and artichoke, and a glass of the house red. Awesome simple meal. A few postcards and gelatos later and we still have time before the grocery opens. It better be open the next time I check or I am throwing something thru the window. To give them a buffer zone I asked Pam if she wanted to see something cool. Sure! Let’s take the drive up to Montefioralle. It is a town on top of a hill just outside of Greve. It is a street that goes in a circle that you could walk in under 5 minutes easily. It is lined on both sides with stone walls that have doors and steps in them and the occasional alley way leading off that conceal homes and shops. The outer walls of the outer ring of houses was the outer protective wall. It is regarded by some as the loveliest village in all of Italy. They have a strong case. It is unreal and the views, where you get them are spectacular. Oh look there’s our place across the valley. We stop in a little wine and cheese shop so of course I buy sun dried tomatoes and dried porcini mushrooms. We wander round it clockwise, then pause and wander around it counterclockwise. It’s time to go check out the grocery. On the way to the car we chat with a young Austrian couple with a baby in a stroller that had inconceivably walked up to Montefioralle. They tell us there is a church down the far side and up on the next hill as an alternate way back to Greve. Game on let’s do it. After only getting lost on tiny dirt roads once we found it. It has been repurposed as an artist colony. Unfortunately we didn’t meet the right folks, or they are reclusive or our vibes just didn’t match because it was a miss. A lot of their art seemed to revolve around lampshades. So back down the hill into Greve and some groceries. BY now our list has shrunk considerably but it is a matter of principal. One of the things I do want is some fresh pasta but instead of supermarket we first went to Pasta d'Autore. It is a shop and he had 6 different pastas in his cabinet and that was pretty much it. I got 2 nests of tagliatelle. FINALLY the grocery store is open! We are feeling vindicated . No big deal. It’s a grocery store. I was hoping for a wrestling match with the mascot or something I guess. We buy some OJ and crackers. The lizards here are fluorescent green with black spots. They were like that in Ostia Antica as well. Another road sign they have here I first interpreted as boa constrictor eating a pig but it is just bump in the road. FOr some reason the deer signs crack Pam up. She thinks it’s funny seeing “American” signs in Italy. The allergy relapse I had in Naples is catching up to Pam and she is going down hard. While sympathetic Igo for a wine tasting. We are staying at a winery and I have yet to taste their wines. All the vineyards we can see from the terrace are theirs plus some on the other side of the hill where they grow some white varietals for their Vin Santo. The first offering is Gattice, a nice light IGT Toscana Rosato, followed by ChiAndre a DOCG Chianti Classico, RiScoperto a sulfate free DOCG Chianti Classico (the first of its kind), Elikia a DOCG Chianti Classico Riserva and DOCG Chianti Classico Gran Selezione. Then the Vin Santo for good measure. The rain has been sparse since February so what we got yesterday was much welcomed. A week or so ago it snowed up in the mountains and damaged a lot of the tree fruit crops. You don’t really think of Tuscany as a snow belt area but it is. The road sign that is most prominent in this area, especially on the steeeeep mountain roads is the Snow Tire sign. I know this won’t sound right but it is, Tuscany is way farther north than you think. All of Italy is for that matter. Greve, at 43.58 degrees north latitude, where we are is roughly equivalent to Portland, ME (43.61) or Saratoga Springs, NY (43.09). So yeah it gets snow. Where we were in Pamalfi (40.64) is the same latitude as Flatbush Brooklyn, NY (40.64). The very southernmost point in Italy, Portopalo di Capo Passero , on the island of Sicily is the NC-VA state line. Every point in NC is further south than every point in Italy. Science. As I am finishing up my tasting a young couple from Portland, OR comes into the bar/reception to check in. Oh sure, someone is here when they want to. They had missed their first bus, and were running late. They ran up the hill dragging luggage to make the 6:00 check in. They are winded and sweaty and don’t look like they relish the thought of going back down the hill for dinner and then back up the hill in the dark so I invite them to dinner. I have all this food I have bought to cook and I am in a kitchen in Tuscany and so I am going to cook. I want someone to share it with and Ian & Jen, it’s your lucky (?) day. We make a date for 7:30 and I start prepping. A small plate of the wild boar salamis and capocollo; a small plate of the Fior di Mugello, Pecorino Metello and Pecorino Tartufo and a small plate of pear slices, 20 day old goat cheese and fig preserves accompanied by multi grain crostini. Pam gets served the fresh goat cheese with herbs and the same crostini. All of that is done by 7:30 so we set up a table out on the terrace overlooking the vineyards and valley below. We finish the 2011 Lamole from last night and then open an Elikia. They are freshly graduated from med school and have a month still before residency begins. They have been 36 houring it in London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich and now here. For the main I’ve rehydrated some porcini in the Lamole & water, as well as the sun dried tomatoes. It’s a good thing I tasted them first because they are actually salt cured. So after hydrating I rinsed them in fresh water. I’ve rough chopped both of them and cut the asparagus on the bias in 1’ pieces. All I do is salt the water and bring to a boil. Just before it boils I heat some olive oil in a large saute pan and toss on the asparagus, then porcini, then the tomatoes in rapid succession. Timed the boil just right and throw in the tagliatelle while keeping the veg moving. The pasta is done in like 2 minutes and I drain it and add to the veg pan, drizzle with olive oil and move to a platter. On go the peeled and deveined shrimp and I grate some pecorino with truffles on top. I pull a plate off for Pam, give the shrimp a finishing toss and on top of the pasta they go and out the door to the table. We have lost the light of the day so we moved the table over to a more lit area of the terrace. The Elikia is gone midway thru so time for Gran Selezione. I know never mix seafood and cheese except for when it works and the pecorino was used more as a seasoning and it totally works. All I had in the pantry was salt. That is it. Desert was risky. I slivered a strawberry and arranged it around a plate with chunks of the blue cheese in the center. The blue is sweet enough that it worked great. Since they are young and from Portland they are of course beer snobs, my kind of people. So I served that with the Wicked Weed Black Angel I had brought to share with the defunct bar owner here. Perfect. I have taken photos of just about everything I have eaten here but not a single picture of this meal. MInor straightening up and then to bed. Dishes will wait.

Three Hill Towns Day 15
On the drive home last night my body kept trying to pass out. I realized it was strictly self defense. Apparently the prospect of me driving off a cliff was more appealing than me stuffing any more food into myself. So this morning food is not my biggest concern. I really haven’t found a go to breakfast because unless it is here we have to get in the car and go to it. And that is what we do this morning for a cappuccino and pastries. We drive for about an hour in the most jaw droppingly beautiful countryside we have ever seen...again. It’s really hard to focus on the road and not just get taken in by the view. I can’t explain why the roadside is not littered with burning wrecks. Probably because the cars are so small they just bounce off each other. Except for the big Alpha Romeos and Audis. The Alphas especially look like they are looking for a fight as they come at you. Certaldo is a fortified hill town notable for two things. One is that you take an inclined railway to up from the city to the old town. We ride to the top and walk around the 5 or 6 steep and/or twisting streets. There is a museum here but we pass on that. It seems that Certaldo is also a prime kindergarten field trip site. I never went to a Tuscan fortified hill town dating back to Etruscan times and documented deeds from at least the 1100’s when I was a kid. Although not from the 1100’s we were amazed by a guy blowing bubbles. He just used his hand and blew bubbles that he then filled with smoke and poked a hole in the top and it emptied like a bag while holding 90% of its shape. He also blew one , filled it with smoke and then karate chopped it into 2 bubbles and then did the same to those and then went Bruce Lee and ended up with dozens of tiny smoke filled bubbles. Wow! He holds, according to him, the world record of a 40 bubbles strung together in a chain. It was too breezy and all he could do was 8 or so. Grab a caffe and go. The other thing about Certaldo is the inability of anyone to explain to me how the parking payment system works. Everywhere else was some form of take a ticket and use it to check out when ready to leave. Here you take a ticket and then nobody seems to know what happens next. After really trying we just split. I hope this doesn’t bite me in the ass. On to San Gimignano, the City of Beautiful Towers. You’ve seen it on calendars. It was on my calendar when we left. Park in the bottom lot, take the ticket, get it punched for two to ride the bus to the city center up the hill. Again, Google has shown me how this is supposed to work. The bus drops us off at the city gate...except he doesn’t. He goes thru the gate and up into the city. The streets are packed and there are turns that that bus should not fit thru. I think he has done completely off the reservation. He is talking to no one that I can see and I’m afraid we are going to be held as material witnesses in a mass homicide. But then he stops in front of the cathedral, amazingly without a single casualty, and let’s us off. I’m usually good about where we are and which way we want to head and how things are going to unfold so I can show Pam what’s up. Not this time, not only did the bus ride mess with me but the plaza is filled with the same market stalls as we had seen the other day in Figline Valdarno. AACCKKK! Let’s just buy the city combo pass and head into the Duomo di San Gimignano. This is different than most of the others we have been in. Instead of the sides of the nave having alcoves this has floor to ceiling frescoes. They are wondrous. There is a chapel dedicated to Santa Fina who was afflicted with a serious disease as a girl and chose to spend the rest of her life lying on a board. They have the board and it doesn’t look like a memory foam board. Time to get some lunch and now I have my bearing and lead Pam to the way far side (a couple blocks) of the city to a place for lunch. Bummer, closed. I thought it would be a hoot to eat in a Pink Floyd Echoes themed bar. So after a quick trip thru the local archeological museum, which has a pharmacy from 1300, it is a banana for Pam and more street Porchetta for me. Then on to the Museo D'Arte Sacra, Museum of Sacred Art, which was cool and all but not amazing. So that would mean it’s time for me, and me alone, to climb Torre Grossa, the tallest tower in the whole dang land. There are still 14 towers left but at one time the town was littered with them, So were they used for storage? Uh yeah. Or for defensive purposes? Sure. Or were they primarily status symbols? Oh yes they were. It’s 54m, 177’, tall and a fairly easy climb until the last hand ladder. Let’s just say it was snug getting thru the opening onto the roof. Great views of the, I’ll say it again, stunning countryside. Back down, collect Pam and visit the adjoining Pinacoteca where they had some great frescoes including what I am sure is the oldest “Hot Tub” frescoe I have ever personally seen. And then off we go thru the Piazza Della Cisterna, which boasts no less than 3 Gelatarias all claiming to be the official world's best and there are long lines out of each as if to prove it. Pass. We are going to see one of the last things on the all inclusive 13 Euro citypass, Chiesa San Lorenzo in Ponte. The single review is 1 star and says “small church with frescoes”. Small church with frescoes is accurate but the frescoes are pretty out there. We Kind of glanced and then went into an alcove and were admiring the fake marble effect they had gotten when I looked back and asked “Pam, is that a bare ass on the church wall?” “Yes, I think it is and there is another” she replied. Then we started really scoping them out. Uh-oh somebody done found themselves in hell and is getting their head sucked down by a demon. Crazy stuff that is way more than 1 star. As we were walking out of town we saw a guy in a GD 50 shirt. Stopped and talked to him for a few. Strangest of places and all that. Oh yeah, there were wandering minstrels too. When we got to the parking lot we took care of the parking and were setting up the GPS when an elderly Asian couple started to back in 2 spots down from us. He jumped out of the car and ran around the car shouting directions about “one inch more to the left, now straight back, no too far, pull up, turn right, no the other right now back up…” He kept running around and she kept inching this way and that for minutes. When we couldn’t hold it in any longer we left. They may still be there. We drove to Monteriggioni and I hit an Italian 4 lane for the first time. This kind of crazy driving I’m familiar with. Monteriggioni is yet another fortified hilltop town. It’s another one you have definitely seen pictures of. It’s a little town inside a castle wall. It was a stout defense stronghold for Siena that was under siege by Florence until 1550 something but they could not beat Monteriggioni into submission. So where violence failed corruption succeeded. They paid the guy in charge to surrender. The place is small. You could easily stand in the center of town and hit a golf ball out of town in any direction and maybe throw a Frisbee out too. The church is tiny and stark in comparison to some of the insanity we have been seeing. After wandering around a bit we have a glass of wine at Osteria Gelateria Antico Travaglio and sit marveling that people still live there. Inside a castle. We were about to leave when Pam said we might as well pay the 3 Euro and go up on the city walls. That was cool looking down into the what are now backyards but were once the gardens and pastures that allowed them to survive a siege. The ticket came with a pass into the Armament Museum. So totally worth it. They have chain mail and a sign that says it’s ok to touch. After we got thru laughing at each other and another couple of couples from CO we decided to have dinner inside the castle at Ristorante Il Feudo. All they have going at the time is pizza but we’ve been known to enjoy the occasional pie. Pam got a white with tomatoes and capers and I got mushrooms, artichoke, ham and spicy salami. The farther you get from Naples the more ingredients you see. The sun sets on us as we drive home and the rain starts. And then the thunder and lightning start. S curves up and down mountains in the rain. Pam is rethinking this whole “Let’s go to Italy!” decision.

Florence Day 17
This is going to be another busy one. Pam has some yogurt and I stop and have yet another nameless pastry. In Paris, every different pastry has a name. Every pastry here is just another pastry. They all look different but are all a variation of a sweet pastry shell with mostly the same lemony custardy filling. We have a tour to catch so off to Piazza San Marco. We are going first to Galeria da Academia. It has some stuff in it that everyone goes to see but first we make a stop into someplace no one seems to know about. It is the Gallery of Musical Instruments. We saw one of the very first pianos ever made. It was made for one of the Medici family members. These guys owned everything and pretty much funded the Renaissance (If you believe Florentine tour guides). There were also 3 Stradivarius instruments, a cello (maybe viola) and 2 violins. One of the violins was made specifically for a Medici. You can tell because it has the Medici logo, a shield with bumps on it, inlayed in the neck. If it has the Medici shield on it they owned it and there are A LOT of things with their shield on it. The number of bumps varies from 5 to 7 and they aren’t sure why. After that we went to see what everyone comes to see, Michelangelo's David. Beautiful giant naked guy. I don’t often say that. It was great seeing it with someone who knew what they were talking about. The marble block had been in Florence for 50 years and nobody had any idea what to do with it or were too intimidated by it. Not Mike, he said sure no problem. There were some of his uncompleted pieces, the pope that ordered them kicked and no one else want to pay so there they still sit. It was really great to see how he works and the tool marks that are still there. When you see a finished work it’s hard to remember that someone used chisels to remove the stone and sand to polish down the rough spots and them straw to buff it. But when you can see the tool marks and know it was on it’s way to being the finished product it makes it more real somehow. Enough of that let’s go see a church. The Cathedral di Santa Maria del Fiore is odd because it is huge, 3rd largest by some standards like length ut 5th by volume, and is pretty plain on the inside. The interior of the dome is pretty baller. The outside is where the money went. The thought at the time was that the interior was for man and therefore need not be decorated. The exterior ws for god to see so pink and green marble it is. Across the street is the Baptistery di San Giovanni. The doors are enormous and are bronze bas relief by. They were so beautiful that Michelangelo called them the “Doors to Heaven”. They are pretty cool. It turns into a walking tour around Florence and ends up the first part at the Ponte Vecchio. Cool story. During WWII the German commander of Florence negotiated with the Allies to spare Florence. They declared it a free city and left. They couldn’t leave the bridges so they demolished them into rubble. Except Ponte Vecchio. They left it standing but bombed the entrances on either side so it was not functional. Thanks bud. A little lunch in a tiny spot, Bar Lambertesca, near the bridge that was a family joint. It was hilarious to watch them deal with each other. Pam went with an eggplant and smoked gouda panino and I had the stewed beef chunks with a side of spinach. They had a copy of the Beatles album from their new film AIUTO! It’s raining now and that will be the theme for the next little while. We reconvene in Piazza del Signoria in front of a dead guy on a horse statue and head into the Uffizi Gallery. It is primarily a museum highlighting the work of Florentine painters. It is laid out chronologically for the most part and runs from the 13the century thru the 16th with real emphasis on the 14th & 15th. It accordingly starts with strictly religious iconography where at a glance you knew who everyone in the painting was and what story of the bible it was illustrating to the realism of daily life by the time of Caravaggio. It also traces the development of new techniques and styles of painting. The influx of Flemish techniques using oil based paints that revolutionized painting. The rediscovery of perspective. The addition of realistic landscapes. Totally revolutionary things like painting a subject indoors and showing the world seen thru the window behind them. There are large collections of Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Raphael, Botticelli and some Caravaggio. They have a Venus statue WITH arms. We saw the first painting Da Vinci worked on and the last one he started. We saw a really interesting short presentation on the restoration work that took place on his last piece. We saw Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus. The first thing you see when you see that painting is beauty personified. What you don’t notice is how impossibly long her left arm is. Or check out the winds blowing her ashore on the left. Exactly whose legs are whos? And how do those arms and wings work? Nope, all you see is beauty personified. After we exited thru the gift shop Pam was bummed that she didn’t have time at the Academia gift shop. We still had our tickets from earlier so we walked back by there. We approached a couple of the entry personnel and started to explain that we had been there and Pam just wanted to go into the bookstore. I’m not sure how it was going but then a woman came up that I remembered seeing and when she heard the spiel she said “Oh yes, I remember you from earlier today. Come with me.” and got Pam in. Sometimes it pays to be me. Other times not so much. For dinner that evening we went to Off The Hook because sometimes a burger and a beer is exactly what you need. Or a burger and a fancy cocktail in Pam's case.. No idea what it was but the bartender went to great lengths to make it and she thought it was delicious. It was garnished with a slice of charred star fruit. Later after I got a woozy Pam back home I went out beer exploring and doing what I do best, making friends with bartenders in strange and exotic locales. Or at least drinking some beers in strange and exoric locales. Well, drinking some beers anyways. I did manage to visit Move On, One Eyed Jacks and Archea Brewing. That was plenty. I couldn’t get the elevator to work when I got home. Luckily I don’t remember ALL the steps, just most of them.

Florence to Venice Day 19
We wake up early and Florence is all shrouded in mist. By the way they leave the duomo, tower and baptistery illuminated all night. Late night pee breaks can be a learning experience. And speaking of doumo I learned something. Doumo does not refer to dome. It is related to home. Every town has a doumo. It is the home of god in that town and there is always one. If there are only 2 churches one of them must be the duomo. Cathedrals are the home of cardinals. There will always be a throne, I mean chair, at the alter. Just because it is a big church with a dome doesn’t make it a cathedral it makes it a basilica. Too many rules. We are off to Venice, our last destination. First we have a quick bite and a quick stop at the post office for stamps. Whoa, not so fast and I literally mean not fast. The pace they operate in there would be generous to call slow. They are glacially slow. Imperceptibly creeping thru every action. A book of stamps from a machine? HAHAHAHA. Every single stamp is a separate transaction. Every piece of mail has to be examined front and back, the envelope measured and looked up in a chart of envelope sizes to determine if it is the correct size to send to that type of recipient in that particular city. Going postal has a whole different meaning here. It means laying down to die a slow slow slow uneventful death of boredom. Twice. Luckily we had plenty of time to spare. Now we just have enough time to not be rushed. A leisurely stroll to the train station and look for our train and platform. There it is and here it comes and car 11, seats 13 & 14D here we are. Along with at least 20 middle school kids on a field trip to Venice from Naples. We are swarmed instantly. @ hours of this? Definetly not my strong suit but I can make it. Pam is simultaneously in and out of her element. The kids are right up her alley, the stream of 20 voices all clamoring for attention in faster and faster Italian not so much. One of the little girls right across from us is relatively fluent in English and a pleasure to talk to. She translates as best she can. I try and appear to be in deep concentration doing something, anything. It mostly works.Pam had planned on napping. Didn't work out. They disembark at the station before us so when we get to Santa Lucia Train Station in Venice it has calmed down. After we exit the train station the next thing to do is buy tickets for the correct vaporetto, water bus, and wait for it at the correct dock. Oh yeah, don’t forget to validate that ticket. We take the 4.1 to the San Zaccaria stop just past San Marco. Walk along Riva degli Schiavoni by the water, over 2 bridges, away from San Marco thankfully, take a left on Calle del Dose, that turns into Calle del la Pieta that opens into a piazza and you exit that at the corner of Calle Terazzera and Calle Crosera at the far end onto Salizada Sant'Antonin, then turn right onto Calle Arco, go almost to the bridge and it should be there on the right. That is about 3 blocks of walking. Easy. So easy that we make a detour down Sotoportego dei Preti to find the Cuore di Mattoni, the heart shaped brick that you touch to bring you luck in love. There is a long weird story involving Orio the fisherman and a mermaid that changes into a snake on Saturdays. We also stop for lunch on the way at Pasticceria alla Bragora for some tasty sandwiches. Pam had some grilled zucchini, yellow peppers and mushrooms with tomato and mozzarella ad I had a Salami and cheese. The bread had pecans in it. The closest thing I have had to a US sandwich in weeks. Someone needs to teach these folks about condiments. We haven’t had any chocolate today so one of those cute little torts with hazelnuts should do the trick. Check in goes easy and yes, there is a balcony overlooking a canal, Rio de la Ca’ en Duo, as advertised. Sweet! The trash can is attached to the door with a hinged lid. There is a string from the lid to inside the cabinet so when you open the door the lid opens. I still am a mechanical geek. We get settles in and then go walking. It’s still early and we head to Piazza San Marco to take in that sight. It is a madhouse of people. Bounce around it for a few and then decide to ditch it and go exploring. There is a store Pam wants to go to and this is right up my alley. Figuring out the route to take in this maze is what my brain was designed for. I could live here just to figure out the streets and how to get from A to 7. It involves crossing the Rialto Bridge and so off we go. Like a homing pigeon. Boom there you go. There are 150 churches in Venice and at least 10 times that number of store selling “Real Murano glass handmade in our own factory”. And nearly that number of stores selling masks.We did pass a couple that had some crazy looking stuff but most were the same crap over and over. After a bit of shopping it’s time to stop and Pam finally gets the Spritz she wants, Prosecco, orange juice and Aperol. It and my hose red are served with bbq potato chips. I reorient myself and realize we are sitting literally across the street from a place I wanted to go to, Acqua & Mais - Rosticceria & Street Food. They serve a paper cone full of fried shrimp and calamari. Yes please. And if we are here then we are close to All’ Arco. So we walk and along the way see chocolate horseshoes and Well, sort of close but they are closed. Bummer. That was going to be my first cicchetti stop. My second stop is right around the corner and it is open. Cantina Do Mori has been a bar since 1462. Thirty years before Columbus stumbled into the New World. Cicchetti is a Venetian happy hour pub crawl with food. A glass of red wine and a plate with a wedge of cheese, a tiny crostini with grilled zucchini and tiny shrimp and smooshed salt cod on chilled and grilled polenta. What a lovely way to end a day. Now it’s time to figure out how to get back to the apartment. I love this. We see a bunch of wierd stuff along the way but it’s hard taking photos. Everything thing you see everywhere you look is awesome, weird, creepy, beautiful, decaying, old… Everything. And so nothing is worth taking a photo of any more than anything else in any direction. We do stop at a church that has a name on the way home. You knew we had to stop at a church. They are starting to run together again. While I have been getting my cicchetti on Pam hasn’t been taking part so we stop in a random place for some pasta. Ai Tre Leoni it is. They serve a good, if not great Spaghetti Pesto Genovese that Pam has been wanting. She is getting really tired of Caprese this and Caprese that. This hit the spot and I went with spaghetti with a Bolognese because well, I’ve been in Italy for almost 3 weeks and I haven’t had that yet. It’s fine. The other thing we haven’t had is Tiramisu so let’s do that too. It’s not that hard to find your way around if you pay attention. Just keep wandering until you see a yellow sign pointing to one of the big landmarks like San Marco or Rialto and go from there. Having Google Maps on your phone helps too. Tomorrow is our last full day so home and to sleep.

Venice to Raleigh Day 21
I woke up with a terrible thought this morning. The next time I wake up I will have to go to work. Oh well, it’s what allows us to do what we do and all that. The whole balcony over a canal thing is a mixed bag. Our canal wasn’t real real busy in the morning but it is the second floor with a construction crew boat going by yesterday and today we struck it rich. Not only a garbage scow which I found mechanically fascinating but the cherry on top was the cement mixer barge. An open barge with an articulated arm and bucket that is used to constantly mix and then fill wheelbarrows to be taken off a gang plank and down the street or alley or into a building or wherever. I had just got out of the shower when Pam told me there was a cement mixer barge out of our window. I got all excited and threw on yesterday's pants and shirt that laying on the floor and bounced out onto the balcony to take photos. My shirt was on inside out AND backwards. Every day is an adventure. Some days you see Michelangelo's David and some days you put your shirt on backwards. Get packed up for the last time. Make sure all the liquids are out of our carryon backpacks. Make sure all our must haves are in our carryon backpacks. Make sure we (I) HAVE our (my) backpacks. Make sure everything is padded enough to survive. Check out and ask a question. Can I get tickets at the Ospedale vaporetto dock? NO? Glad I asked. Minor change of plan. Still go the same route just go past Ospedale to Forte Nove. That’s at least 7 bridges to cross. I’m glad we are only packing two backpacks and 2 carry on size rollers. The rollers are in expanded mode now but still. I see people lugging steamer trunk size dressers on wheels and can’t imagine how they do it. And Pam is promising to pare down even more for next trip. We’ll see how that works out. The Vaporetto we want is the “B”. I try and validate our tickets and it’s a no go. Other people seem to have the same issue and others no problem. What the heck?Then a kindly stranger tells me that for the airport they won’t validate at the machine. Instead they check them and punch them as you board. Cool. It is a 40 minute ride with a single stop at Murano where they make all the “Hand made glass from our factory” glass. Right as I am cracking wise “The place sure doesn’t look like it’s made out of glass!” as we pass a gate and yep it’s made out of glass. Mostly. At least partially made out of glass. The vaporetto pulls up at a dock at Aeroporto Marco Polo di Venezia. Not into the terminal. There is still a 5 minute walk into the terminal but close enough. I’ve never done that before. The check in involves a game of 20 questions by Delta/Aeroporto personnel. Pam gets nervous that she is going to answer inappropriately. I give the guy more answer than he was bargaining for. It is not a big airport and not that busy but it was still nice to get shuttled into the North “we know who you are” Security check point. It moved so fast that I didn’t have time to get my belt off. “It’s plastic, it’s ok.” And we are into the terminal, Pamis getting the way she does when she’s at festivals or foreign countries and doesn’t want to leave. I want to get to the gate, claim a seat and be there. She wants to take a look at all the way overpriced stores or abandoned camp sites one last time to prolong the experience. She’s a funny girl. It’s only a 10 hour and 43 minute flight to JFK. I’ve got time to watch a movie and my friend Taylor recommended Arrival for a long flight and it is the first one up. I’ll watch that. Except watch isn’t quite right and listen even less so. I got the overall but I wonder what it actually looks and sounds like. I feel like a voyeur watching someone else's Star Trek XXIII over the seat back. So let’s see what kind of bunk they have for music. William Onyeabor? What the… Listen to that twice and then some Albert Collins. Far superior than the last time I flew. I may have had one too many cups of coffee today. The border entry process at JFK sucks. Thinking about it so does the border exit process. It is a giant cluster, well, you know. It’s a good thing our plane landed an hour early at 3:30 instead of 4:30 to make a 7:30 connection. We seriously might not have made it. The first chance we get we do chow on some American food. Pam wants some crinkle cut fries and I want the most disgusting dog I can find. And a giant ass Dr Pepper. I guess we’re home. We haven’t seen or heard any idiocy from Republicans or Democrats in 3 weeks. Sitting in the terminal with some Political Infotainment on for 30 minutes had me bummed. Screw this. You know how people say “Yeah vacation was great but I was glad to get back home”? Yeah, not a trace of that. I just wish we could have had 3 more days in Rome including a couple to do nothing. I wish we would have had at least 2 or 3 more days in Amalfi to see Ravello and go have a picnic up in the lemon groves. I wish we could have stayed in Naples for a week. I wish we could have stayed in Florence at least 3 or 4 more days if not more. There was so much we didn’t do there and again I would like some time to not do anything and get into the Florence flow. I would love to spend enough time there and in Naples and in Venice to meet more people. I would love to spend more time in Venice doing rat in a maze gets rewarded with cheese even more than I did and honestly that is what it is. And mostly I wish we never had to leave Greve. You could come and visit. You’d love it I promise. I’m betting you wouldn’t want to leave either. Now where to next? Spain and Portugal? Maybe England, Wales and Scotland? How about a swing thru South America or Southeast Asia? As long as I get to obsessively over plan and take Pam to see some cool shit I guess I really don’t care where it is.

So we are home and honestly I am glad to be in our bed. I love our bed. I was really glad to see my little girl when she picked us up at the airport. I am going to be glad to see our friends. I have missed condiments and ice. I am going to put ice in everything for a week. Tacos, cereal, chicken salad, everything. I got home and just put some ice in a glass. Not to drink anything just to have ice in a glass. I would miss American music way too much to ever live abroad. I am going to miss the morning ritual of getting my morning coffee at a standup bar. I am going to miss the way you can say “grazie” to someone and when they reply “prego” in reply it can sound like they really mean it. It is a lovely sounding word. I am glad tho that I don’t have to get up tomorrow and tour the Duke Gardens and White Memorial Presbyterian and historic downtown Clayton. Mostly I am going to miss holding hands with Pam and walking along somewhere we’ve never been.

Have an hour?  I'd like to show you a slide show of our vacation.

My eyes are bleeding