Parental Advice Thread

moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 7:10:31 GMT -5 estprofinhumboldt likes this

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Post by moon on Apr 6, 2017 7:10:31 GMT -5

How has this thread never been created before? Anyways...

Our youngest (Elise, 15.5 yo and a very talented flautist) is going away on Sunday for her school band trip to Boston. While I have always encouraged independence in her and she IS very independent, spiritually we are very co-dependent. She's very responsible and funny and smart. I want her to have every experience I did not, and am glad she gets to be with friends and have the time of her life.

But I'm starting to feel physically ill and anxious at her leaving. I thought it would be a good idea to go to Mexico while she was gone to keep my mind at ease, but now I think I made the wrong decision in case something goes wrong. Her dad and Nick will both be here in the US, and are more than capable of handling anything that comes up but...

Help me see everything will be okay. I won't see her for 8 days. I have never been away from her that long. How often should I check in with her? I already track the children with an app (which I only check if they're not answering and I need to know where they are).

}Moon Dellah{

TOO $
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 7:23:13 GMT -5 moon likes this

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Post by TOO $ on Apr 6, 2017 7:23:13 GMT -5

Well I've never been nominated for father of the year but I know where you are coming from. As long as Nick and Dad are around you have nothing to worry about, go have a good time if they are OK with it. As far as checking in, as little as possible in my opinion but enough so she knows you care. When we were away my daughter (17) would text us whenever she made a move...hey I'm going to Nicki's...hey I made it home, goodnight. She doesn't do that anymore as full independence, early adulthood and senioritis has kicked in. I would at least like to get a text every night that she made it home safely. Maybe a phone call once a day, every couple of days?? Sure you will get a lot of differing opinions on this. Just sharing what works for us...good luck!

Did I mention I'm Greek?

kuriti
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 8:04:55 GMT -5 moon likes this

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Post by kuriti on Apr 6, 2017 8:04:55 GMT -5

Let her go, she will come back better than when she left. I always try to remember that my job is to raise a healthy adult, not to protect them from the world. Our 13 year old will be going to sailing camp on the coast for 2 weeks this summer. He has done 1 week for the last 4 years. We get pics of him taken by the staff and posted every day or so, but that is the extent of our contact (no electronics allowed). He was scared the first year, but absolutely loved it and comes back like a different person. I find a lot of joy in seeing them become independent because I valued independence so much as I grew up. Those are the best experiences and we should be happy for them.

Kuriti

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smosey wales
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 9:05:35 GMT -5 moon likes this

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Post by smosey wales on Apr 6, 2017 9:05:35 GMT -5

I agree with all said. Minimal contacts, especially. At most, a two word text every couple days. You want her head up, not on the phone.
Or how about a game--whoever texts first loses?

If you have already established a co-dependency of constant communication, you can't start too early to break that. This is a good opportunity.

Too late to die young

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estprofinhumboldt
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 9:14:32 GMT -5 moon likes this

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Post by estprofinhumboldt on Apr 6, 2017 9:14:32 GMT -5

I feel your anxiety and relate. There is nothing you can do to change the course of the next eight days and you know it. Trust that she is ready to be there, recognize that you have to let her be free (that's the hard part). And have a blast in Mexico!!!

feel your way back the day before

worf rat Old Head How do you know if hondo's Greek? Posts: 4,736 If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Don't worry, he'll tell you! Number of LOCKNs attended: 6	Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 9:25:09 GMT -5 TOO $, hondo, and 1 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by worf rat on Apr 6, 2017 9:25:09 GMT -5 Apr 6, 2017 7:23:13 GMT -5 TOO $ said: Well I've never been nominated for father of the year WHAT?! The way you dad around this joint, I thought for sure... Zookeeper of the year, maybe?
	Macedonian meat sauce

smosey wales
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 15:12:18 GMT -5 moon likes this

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Post by smosey wales on Apr 6, 2017 15:12:18 GMT -5

Back when my girls were that age, I'd get nominated FOTY once a year, around June 18, and shortly thereafter the prize was revoked by my conduct of, well, being a father. But when they were young, I got to keep the trophy. Now that they are older, I get trophies again--subject to revocation.

Too late to die young

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looseankles American Beauty Posts: 755 If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Neighbor Number of LOCKNs attended: 6	Parental Advice Thread Apr 6, 2017 16:07:55 GMT -5 via mobile moon likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by looseankles on Apr 6, 2017 16:07:55 GMT -5 Hey Moon. I'll be up in the Boston area this week as well. Let me know if you want me to go spy on her. 👀

buddy74
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 7, 2017 8:10:58 GMT -5 via mobile moon likes this

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Post by buddy74 on Apr 7, 2017 8:10:58 GMT -5

She'll be with a group, not by herself. I am assuming there will also be chaperones and you said your daughter is responsible & smart. She'll be fine. If you communicate with her too often while she's gone it may increase the chance of her getting homesick. She'll be able to be totally immersed in her trip without having to stop to check-in. Go to Mexico, have a blast and look forward to her sharing some of her adventure when she gets back. OR, take looseankles up on her offer.

Last Edit: Apr 7, 2017 8:12:33 GMT -5 by buddy74

smosey wales
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 7, 2017 9:14:01 GMT -5 buddy74, estprofinhumboldt, and 1 more like this

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Post by smosey wales on Apr 7, 2017 9:14:01 GMT -5

Really, since she's level headed and responsible and on a chaperoned band trip, we should be giving her the advice on how to keep Mama safe in Mexico! I fear the effects of tequila when you find no Brussels sprouts old fashioned's there.

Too late to die young

Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
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April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
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mccjeff Merry Prankster Look, a squirrel! Posts: 7,848 If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: BIG Something	Parental Advice Thread Apr 7, 2017 13:03:40 GMT -5 buddy74, estprofinhumboldt, and 1 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by mccjeff on Apr 7, 2017 13:03:40 GMT -5 Take a deep breath and step away from the panic button.
	This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more. What happens if I take both?

moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 7, 2017 13:37:22 GMT -5

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Post by moon on Apr 7, 2017 13:37:22 GMT -5

Apr 6, 2017 16:07:55 GMT -5 looseankles said:

Hey Moon. I'll be up in the Boston area this week as well. Let me know if you want me to go spy on her. 👀

Hiiiiiii! How are you, gorgeous lady?

Don't make offers you cannot make good on! LOL! I will totally send you her itinerary. She's performing at Fanouiel Hall (how tf do you spell that...).

}Moon Dellah{

moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 7, 2017 14:04:30 GMT -5

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Post by moon on Apr 7, 2017 14:04:30 GMT -5

Apr 7, 2017 9:14:01 GMT -5 smosey wales said:

Really, since she's level headed and responsible and on a chaperoned band trip, we should be giving her the advice on how to keep Mama safe in Mexico! I fear the effects of tequila when you find no Brussels sprouts old fashioned's there.

considered bringing a jar...

}Moon Dellah{

looseankles American Beauty Posts: 755 If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Neighbor Number of LOCKNs attended: 6	Parental Advice Thread Apr 7, 2017 14:46:37 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by looseankles on Apr 7, 2017 14:46:37 GMT -5 When will they be performing at Faneuil Hall? I'd love to go check it out!

moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 10, 2017 6:30:51 GMT -5 buddy74 likes this

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Post by moon on Apr 10, 2017 6:30:51 GMT -5

Apr 7, 2017 14:46:37 GMT -5 looseankles said:

When will they be performing at Faneuil Hall? I'd love to go check it out!

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. She performs at 3:00 on Wednesday at Faneuil Hall Marketplace. She's fourth chair flute and is my twin (minus twenty years) with long blonde hair so you can't miss her. I already told her someone I knew would be in town and may catch her performance, so if you're able to make it feel free to say hello. She's very friendly.

}Moon Dellah{

kuriti
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 10, 2017 14:05:31 GMT -5 mccjeff, buddy74, and 1 more like this

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Post by kuriti on Apr 10, 2017 14:05:31 GMT -5

I thought this fit nicely into this topic. We were driving home from somewhere and the kids kept asking me "how much longer". We were about 20 minutes away and long version of Playing in the Band had just come on. I replied, "not long, we will be home before this song ends". Apparently I am not the only one...

Kuriti

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moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 11, 2017 6:55:12 GMT -5 TOO $ likes this

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Post by moon on Apr 11, 2017 6:55:12 GMT -5

Apr 10, 2017 14:05:31 GMT -5 kuriti said:

I thought this fit nicely into this topic. We were driving home from somewhere and the kids kept asking me "how much longer". We were about 20 minutes away and long version of Playing in the Band had just come on. I replied, "not long, we will be home before this song ends". Apparently I am not the only one...

So very accurate. Except the kids are starting to really dig the jams.

This also applies when Nick puts the Phish on the juke at our local pub. The bartenders groan bc they know he's put on at least three 10-15 minute jams.

It's usually done in retribution for having to listen to Five Finger Death Punch or even Adele played by what we refer to as "visitors", i.e. the rich folk who stop in after a charity thing at the Arts Center down the street, after one of them says "Hey- let's get a pizza at that cute dive bar so we can appear totally relatable and try to remember the old days when we were regular people and not sheep with tans and highlights in our hair".

}Moon Dellah{

Bird700level Old Head Posts: 1,822 If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: David Hasselhoff Number of LOCKNs attended: 3	Parental Advice Thread Apr 11, 2017 7:31:54 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Bird700level on Apr 11, 2017 7:31:54 GMT -5 1. jukeboxes are pretty rare these days 2. jukeboxes with Phish choices, even rarer 3. jukeboxes with live Phish choice near implausible 4. jukeboxes with 3 live Phish choices, might as well play Powerball

moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 11, 2017 7:52:59 GMT -5 buddy74 and Bird700level like this

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Post by moon on Apr 11, 2017 7:52:59 GMT -5

Apr 11, 2017 7:31:54 GMT -5 Bird700level said:

1. jukeboxes are pretty rare these days
2. jukeboxes with Phish choices, even rarer
3. jukeboxes with live Phish choice near implausible
4. jukeboxes with 3 live Phish choices, might as well play Powerball

Touchtunes "jukeboxes" allows the owner/lessee to choose what music is available directly on the jukebox, but now they have an app which gives you more choices, and the ability to see what songs are next, skip those songs, or insert your choices into the middle of those that are in the lineup. I think it's bullshit and totally rude that people do that, and is probably 50% of the reason why Nick and I don't frequent the pub as much as we used to. We like to be able to actually hear the music we want to hear when drankin'.

I miss the days of going "awwww yeah, my songs are up!"

}Moon Dellah{

smosey wales
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 11, 2017 8:31:50 GMT -5 kuriti, moon, and 2 more like this

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Post by smosey wales on Apr 11, 2017 8:31:50 GMT -5

I miss the days when you could drop in a couple of bucks in quarters, punch in "King Tut" 8 times, and leave.

Too late to die young

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buddy74 Old Head Posts: 2,215 If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Carlos Santana Number of LOCKNs attended: 6	Parental Advice Thread Apr 11, 2017 10:58:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by buddy74 on Apr 11, 2017 10:58:55 GMT -5 Apr 11, 2017 8:31:50 GMT -5 smosey wales said: I miss the days when you could drop in a couple of bucks in quarters, punch in "King Tut" 8 times, and leave.

worf rat
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 11, 2017 11:44:32 GMT -5 via mobile buddy74 and estprofinhumboldt like this

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Post by worf rat on Apr 11, 2017 11:44:32 GMT -5

Apr 11, 2017 8:31:50 GMT -5 smosey wales said:

I miss the days when you could drop in a couple of bucks in quarters, punch in "King Tut" 8 times, and leave.

With us, it was "Pump Up The Volume." That, or "Relax." Get out of there FAST!

Macedonian meat sauce

looseankles
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 12, 2017 16:53:30 GMT -5 via mobile

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Post by looseankles on Apr 12, 2017 16:53:30 GMT -5

Hey Moon. I caught sight 👀 of your daughter's band walking around Faneuil Hall/Quincy Marketplace today. They were all easy to spot in their maroon Fond du Lac shirts. Unfortunately I didn't get to hear them play. It started to rain a little after 2 and their performance was cancelled.

I hope your daughter had a great time in Boston these last few days and has a safe trip back to Wisconsin.

moon
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 18, 2017 15:17:41 GMT -5 TOO $ and estprofinhumboldt like this

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Post by moon on Apr 18, 2017 15:17:41 GMT -5

Apr 12, 2017 16:53:30 GMT -5 looseankles said:

Hey Moon. I caught sight 👀 of your daughter's band walking around Faneuil Hall/Quincy Marketplace today. They were all easy to spot in their maroon Fond du Lac shirts. Unfortunately I didn't get to hear them play. It started to rain a little after 2 and their performance was cancelled.

I hope your daughter had a great time in Boston these last few days and has a safe trip back to Wisconsin.

Oh MAN! I sure wish you could have seen her perform. Thank you so much for making your way down, though. It really means a lot!

Oh, and everything went off without a hitch, she had a very good time! Thank you everyone for the advice and helping me feel better.

}Moon Dellah{

smosey wales
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Parental Advice Thread Apr 18, 2017 15:52:21 GMT -5 estprofinhumboldt and moon like this

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Post by smosey wales on Apr 18, 2017 15:52:21 GMT -5

And what happens in Mexico apparently doesn't make it to the forum....

Too late to die young

Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
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April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
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Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
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Post by moon on Apr 6, 2017 7:10:31 GMT -5

Post by TOO $ on Apr 6, 2017 7:23:13 GMT -5

Post by kuriti on Apr 6, 2017 8:04:55 GMT -5

Post by smosey wales on Apr 6, 2017 9:05:35 GMT -5

Post by estprofinhumboldt on Apr 6, 2017 9:14:32 GMT -5

Post by worf rat on Apr 6, 2017 9:25:09 GMT -5

Post by smosey wales on Apr 6, 2017 15:12:18 GMT -5

Post by looseankles on Apr 6, 2017 16:07:55 GMT -5

Post by buddy74 on Apr 7, 2017 8:10:58 GMT -5

Post by smosey wales on Apr 7, 2017 9:14:01 GMT -5

Post by mccjeff on Apr 7, 2017 13:03:40 GMT -5

Post by moon on Apr 7, 2017 13:37:22 GMT -5

Post by moon on Apr 7, 2017 14:04:30 GMT -5

Post by looseankles on Apr 7, 2017 14:46:37 GMT -5

Post by moon on Apr 10, 2017 6:30:51 GMT -5

Post by kuriti on Apr 10, 2017 14:05:31 GMT -5

Post by moon on Apr 11, 2017 6:55:12 GMT -5

Post by Bird700level on Apr 11, 2017 7:31:54 GMT -5

Post by moon on Apr 11, 2017 7:52:59 GMT -5

Post by smosey wales on Apr 11, 2017 8:31:50 GMT -5

Post by buddy74 on Apr 11, 2017 10:58:55 GMT -5

Post by worf rat on Apr 11, 2017 11:44:32 GMT -5

Post by looseankles on Apr 12, 2017 16:53:30 GMT -5

Post by moon on Apr 18, 2017 15:17:41 GMT -5

Post by smosey wales on Apr 18, 2017 15:52:21 GMT -5