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Please note: This forum is in no way officially associated with Lockn' Festival or its promoters.
TOO $
Cowboy Neal
Posts: 12,507
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Dead and Company featuring Johnny Slayer
Number of LOCKNs attended: 7
Post by TOO $ on Sept 5, 2017 11:47:24 GMT -5
1. Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Did I mention I'm Greek?
hondo
Old Head
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro - Hunter S. Thompson
Posts: 1,880
Number of LOCKNs attended: All of them
Post by hondo on Sept 5, 2017 12:31:57 GMT -5
2. There once was a street named Chuck Norris, but the name was changed for public safety because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
I came for the fuckery, I stayed for the love
Bird700level
Old Head
Posts: 1,822
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: David Hasselhoff
Number of LOCKNs attended: 3
Post by Bird700level on Sept 5, 2017 13:03:17 GMT -5
3. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
jrtmom
Old Head
Posts: 1,087
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: BECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECK
Post by jrtmom on Sept 5, 2017 17:23:46 GMT -5
4. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. (GREAT thread BTW!)
thelizard
Old Head
This is so much FUN!!
Posts: 1,799
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Neil Young
Number of LOCKNs attended: 7
Post by thelizard on Sept 5, 2017 18:15:15 GMT -5
5.
I'm not signing this!
MaybeEwbn
Guest
Post by MaybeEwbn on Sept 6, 2017 2:20:15 GMT -5
6. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Bird700level
Old Head
Posts: 1,822
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: David Hasselhoff
Number of LOCKNs attended: 3
Post by Bird700level on Sept 6, 2017 5:46:50 GMT -5
7. He gave his father "the talk"
TOO $
Cowboy Neal
Posts: 12,507
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Dead and Company featuring Johnny Slayer
Number of LOCKNs attended: 7
Post by TOO $ on Sept 6, 2017 8:22:43 GMT -5
8. At bedtime the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Did I mention I'm Greek?
jrtmom
Old Head
Posts: 1,087
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: BECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECK
Post by jrtmom on Sept 6, 2017 10:14:03 GMT -5
9. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
banjer
Long Distance Runner
Posts: 379
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: My Morning Jacket
Number of LOCKNs attended: 4
Post by banjer on Sept 6, 2017 10:34:57 GMT -5
10. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, he never cries.
hondo
Old Head
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro - Hunter S. Thompson
Posts: 1,880
Number of LOCKNs attended: All of them
Post by hondo on Sept 6, 2017 11:55:09 GMT -5
11. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
I came for the fuckery, I stayed for the love
Post by hrpufnstuf on Sept 6, 2017 21:27:45 GMT -5
Didn't notice this thread before I posted in the other one...wait I really don't want to post in TOO
kuriti
Old Head
Posts: 2,242
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Marcel Duchamp
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by kuriti on Sept 7, 2017 8:27:43 GMT -5
12. Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris
Kuriti
Lockn': not dying, still Dead
jrtmom
Old Head
Posts: 1,087
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: BECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECK
Post by jrtmom on Sept 7, 2017 8:49:24 GMT -5
This one for kuriti, who blinded me with science:
13. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
This one for everyone else who likes scatological humor:
14. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he pooped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Last Edit: Sept 7, 2017 8:52:07 GMT -5 by jrtmom
