Halfway

Well it's a little past halfway and although the board isn't Tumbleweedville like usual at this time I'll offer up my favorite story from 2019. I waited to get approval from the primaries in this story except Lobster(he's redacted) before posting. This is to the best of my knowledge true. TL;DR Bros laughed and fell down.

It was late night Saturday in Garcia's forest after the show when Sneake, Lobster, myself, and dude called Scrappy were gathering our coolers and preparing for the walk back.

Scrappy is a nice young guy that I camped and partied with at Peach. He probably barely weighs north of 100# but has 20# of pins on his hat to help hold him down. No offence to Sneake but he doesn't need "pin weight" to help hold him down. At some point Scrappy made mention that he liked how our crew(Sneake,Lobster,Me) rolled and so in that instant our crew was created, later being labeled The Lockn (not a gang) Association. I informed Scrappy that he could possibly join the crew if he could prove his competence by completing a task. The task was getting Sneake safely from Garcia's forest to Sneake's camp in front of the main gate.

Sneake can be a cantankerous ward but tonight he was in very good spirits, showing his always admirable verticalness but with erratic pathing. He started this evenings late night like this
but do to the siren's call of BYOB ended up like this  .
I've guided Sneake back to camp in the past and it was obvious that the newcomer Scrappy had no idea of the difficulty of the task but he dove in and got tucked in under Sneake's arm to help stabilize him. The march of the walking wounded began.

Things started fairly well with me monitoring this situation and Lobster basically being worthless but nonetheless having a badass good time. Unfortunately it wasn't too long before Scrappy couldn't contain Sneake's weaving and Scrappy was soon being flung to and fro looking like one of Steven Tyler's microphone scarves. When it appeared that Scrappy was about to be in the middle of a Sneake and gravel sandwich, I swept in and got under Sneake's other arm to keep things upright. TASK FAILED.

The four of us shambled and wobbled with the rest of the crowd down the road heading back to camp when I came up with a way for Scrappy to redeem himself by completing another task. This one more difficult than the last. Scrappy's task was that once we had made it safely back to camp he would have to get Sneake into his cot, remove his shoes and socks, and rub his feet until he fell asleep. The words had barely left my mouth before Scrappy said no fucking way. We all fell to the ground laughing, crying, and choking for breath while the crowds parted around us like we were a blubbering boulder of giggles in the rapids of returning melted faces. TASK REFUSED.


Eventually we made it back to camp with everyone unscathed. In the end Scrappy was offered another chance for consideration on Sunday. A more conventional task but still challenging. Scrappy flew in from Texas for Lockn and had very very minimal gear. His last chance was to host a grilled cheese party on Sunday night. He managed to acquire the means of cooking, scavenged the food staples, and fought a tight time schedule to adequately pull it off. TASK COMPLETED.

As a final note Scrappy's official entry vote will be at the upcoming Lockn' and Scrappy got Lobster to form their own group that I'm not part of but can be if I qualify. What a bunch of assholes. Sneake was not harmed in this story or in real life and he is still with us today.

I wasn't completely worthless, I carried the giant cooler Sneake insisted on bringing.

The conversation with our Japanese friend on the walk back was one of my favorite memories from last year.

This isn't only funny if you've had the pleasure of helping sneake to bed, but its waaaaaay funnier.


Lololololol

Cheap shot from me Bro. I know you were carrying a load, just a different one. Also agree that our new beer bumming Japanese dance machine buddy certainly added to the evening's entertainment.

It was one of the hardest laughs that I've had in my life.

Yes, it wasn't the best grilled cheese but putting it together was still quite a challenge. Nothing compared to rubbing Sneake's feet, I almost added singing "Soft Kitty", but I can only be so evil at a love, light, and vibes event.

P.S. I street teamed for that campsite. It was the year before that I knew somebody(You). Thanks. I enjoyed the location so much I joined the street team.

Oh, now you're just doing it on purpose.

A) I'm an accent aigu guy

B) This is accent grave: Worfè. It indicates that the "e" is silent, so the pronunciation is the same as it is now. I assume you want it to sound like worf-ay. See above.

C) 


</pedantic rant>

Redantic?

Make something up.