This is The Joke Thread

Tomato, donut, and a pizza walk into a bar...

Bartender- “Sorry, we don’t serve food”

Two fonts walk into a bar.

"Sorry we don't serve your type here."

However, the peanuts are complimentary.

Two fish are in a tank and ones says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

fify

Also: spin off a joke thread. Figger't owt!

Also also: the bartender says what's with the ship's wheel sticking out of your fly? The pirate says, "ARR, it's drivin' me nuts!"

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his grandmother in the jungle?



(My mother told me that one. I guess that's where I got it from.)

I keep reading "this is the joke thread" as "this thread is a joke." smosey started it so yeah, it kind of is...

Insult comedy a la Don Rickles counts, right?

A man walks into a bar in New Orleans and asks for a Corona and two Hurricanes.
The bartender says, "That'll be $20.20..."

Camping Joke 1

Three doctors go camping and are sitting around the fire getting drunk and bragging.

The ENT says, "See that hoot owl up there in the tree? I could do a tonsillectomy on him and he'd never know the difference."

The urologist says, "Yeah? I could do a vasectomy on him and he'd never know."

And the anesthesiologist says, "I could knock him out and bring him back and he'd never know he was ever out."

So they take the bets, knock the owl and go to work.

A week later one of the owl's friends says to him, "What's up with you? You don't seem yourself lately."

Owl says, "I don't know why, but ever since I went camping with those doctors, I haven't been able to fuck worth a hoot, or hoot worth a fuck!"

Of course I did. 

What did the one snowman say to the other snowman?


“Do you smell carrots?”